So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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