I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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