Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
