k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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