I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
