So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You are a booty call, not a friend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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