I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
