community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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