"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We got so high we made milksteak
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
