i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize