you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
