Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
