That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Everything isnāt always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes thereās tequila.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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