what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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