Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
