we're blogging at a bar
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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