i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
