its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
