I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize