i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
