And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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