her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
