He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
