i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We left the knife in your bed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
