I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
