So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
