Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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