literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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