Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
