Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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