He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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