She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Send help, water and tortillas.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
