I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
