Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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