I heard we made out
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
