I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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