Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
