You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
