if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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