Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm too high and old for this...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
