Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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