Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
