so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
