I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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