You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
