9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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