What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
