i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
