What a fucking waste of an outfit
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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