just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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