weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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