like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
