seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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