There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
