Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize