Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
