my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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