Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
