...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
