so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
