Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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